Quote

"It's a good thing to turn your mind upside down now and then, like an hour-glass, to let the particles run the other way."

- The Haunted Bookshop by Christopher Morley

Thought

I wonder if I would like my blog more if I actually used it to keep records of my projects/recipes/books/story ideas, etc. Like, helping me keep track and including notes, thoughts, suggestions, data, etc.

Key Lime Pie - Recipe Review

So, I made another pie yesterday, and it was the easiest pie I've ever made. Which was exciting, as I was prepping for an Oscars Party and was running around like a chicken-sans-head and needed something in my life to just be straightforward for once. But that's another topic. On to the the pie!

I stole a recipe from another blog, so I'll just post that link here: http://cravingchronicles.com/2009/07/01/key-lime-pie/ and say, it's pretty fantastic. I mean, I cut some corners and it still turned out well. I'd like to try it the real recipe way sometime, and then try a fancy version as well, but this is great for a quick fix.

Also a note: the pie didn't set up exactly as firmly as I was expecting, but that could have been because I didn't really allow it 3-4 hours to firm up in the fridge.

Also, if you're going to use ReadyWhip, etc, don't put it on the pie. It melts and gets ugly. Let people do that individually.

Personality Report

Passionate

You are in touch with your emotions, and sometimes you react before you think. The good news: you don't tamp down your feelings. The bad news: you sometimes say or do things that you later wish you could take back.

You do not live your life on an even keel; you do not go for long periods without experiencing some mood swings.

Curious

You like to get to the bottom of things. You're not content knowing what someone did; you want to know why they did it.

You don't simply take things as they are and move on; you're not content skimming along on the surface; you don't feel you're wasting time by digging for the meaning of things.

Innovative

You come up with a lot of ideas; if one doesn't work out, there's always another waiting in the wings. You often have interesting solutions to difficult problems. You're practically a one-person brainstorming session.

You are less interested changing the world than in dealing with things as they are. Unlike those who spend all their time trying to solve problems, you prefer to zero in on things that work and stick with them.

Aesthetic

You appreciate art, beauty, and design; you know that they are not superficial but absolutely crucial to living the good life. You have good taste, and you're proud of it. Those with a high score on the "aesthetic" trait are often employed in literary or artistic professions, enjoy domestic activities — doing things around the house — and are enthusiastic about the arts, reading, and travel.

You don't think it's pretentious to be moved by art and beauty. You're not one of those who believe it doesn't matter what something looks like as long as it does its job.

Intellectual

You are thoughtful, rational, and comfortable in the world of ideas. People find you interesting to talk to. You're the living embodiment of the saying "You learn something new every day." In general, those with a high score on the "intellectual" trait are employed in such fields as teaching and research, and are enthusiastic about reading, foreign films, and classical music.

You do not avoid abstract conversation, experimenting with new ideas, or studying new things. It bores you to stick to the straight and narrow of what you already know.

Introspective

You like your own company; you're a very interesting person. Tracking your own mental processes, knowing what you're thinking and why you do what you do, is important to you. Often, what's going on in your mind is more compelling than what's going on outside. For the most part, those with a high score on the "introspective" trait enjoy reading, taking long walks, learning new things, and other solitary activities.

You are not someone who is constantly looking to be among a group of friends; you never feel bored when you are by yourself.

Creative

You are good at solving problems, coming up with original ideas, and seeing connections between things, connections that most other people miss. People with a high score on the "creative" trait often are employed in such fields as finance and scientific research, and enjoy avant garde and classical music as well as literary fiction and scholarly non-fiction.

You do not shun abstractions and concepts in favor of the concrete and tangible.

Original

You are constantly coming up with new ideas. For you, the world as it exists is just a jumping-off place; what's going on inside your mind is often more interesting than what's going on outside.

You don't feel that the road to success is to be a realist and stick to the program; you never stop yourself from coming up with new ideas or telling the world what you're thinking about.

Warm

You have a genuine interest in other people. You're a natural host, and are always thinking about how you can increase the happiness of those around you. When friends have problems or are in trouble, you're usually the first person they turn to for aid and comfort. Scoring high on the "warm" trait suggests that you are among those who enjoy domestic activities — doing things around the house — and are enthusiastic about charitable work, helping others, and making the world a better place.

You don't always say exactly what you're thinking; you don't like the idea of causing anyone pain because of your criticism.

Understanding

You are willing to take the time to find out what's going on with other people, especially if they're in distress. You're a good listener, you don't criticize, and you offer unbiased, respectful, honest advice when it's requested. With a high score on the "understanding" trait, it is likely that you are enthusiastic about charitable work, helping others, and making the world a better place.

You don't feel the need to impose your standards on others or say things that, even though true, cause pain.

Quote

love is a temporary madness; it erupts and then subsides. when it subsides, you have to make a decision. you have to work out whether your roots have grown so intertwined that it is inconceivable that you should ever part...we had roots that grew toward each other underground, and when all the blossoms had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree, not two. - louis de bernieres

Cola Turka

The red and white can opened with a crisp snap, and the traditional sweet, almost salty smell of a dark cola came wafting out. In essence, this cola follows in the steps of a basic Coke; there's not much to differentiate it from our common colas here in the States. Intense amounts of bubbles mask the flavor at first, but as they settle down, there's a hint of that slight oak flavor with a subtle hint of saltiness contrasting against the chemical sweetness of cola.

At its heart, I feel like this cola Turka is one of those Walmart remakes of the Thumbelina movie. It's a remake that's very precisely copied after the original; it just happens that the original wasn't that great to begin with.

Flavor: 3 out of 5
Originality: 1 out of 5
Can Design: 2 out of 5

Lyttle Lytton Contest

I love this contest. I think it's genius. I want to do it. That's really all this post is about. That, and just having a place to keep my favorite entries that I've read safe somewhere where I can read them again and again, and someday perhaps write stories based off them. Viva la inspiracion!

Dr. Metzger turned to greet his new patient, blithely unaware he would seen become a member of a secret brotherhood as old as urology itself. 

- Alec Kyras

Man oh man, you're gonna like this book; boy howdy. 

- Duncan Stevens

The pain wouldn't stop, and Vern still had three cats left. 

- Andrew Davis

Maria's flossing was now complete. 

- Chris Piuma

Leon fell out of the goat.

- Rob Tobias

In anticipation, John licked his own lips. 

- Andrew Lloyd

In 3010, the potatoes triumphed. 

- Nat Gertler

Splashy the whale smiled secretively, flapping his flappers and swimming. 

- Jackie J.

This is a mystery about a murder I committed. 

- Lachlan Redfern

Zandor stood in the doorway, raking the onlooking crowd with the hot coals of his eyes. 

- Mark Caudil

Once upon a time, there was a talking lamp whose lightbulb fell out and hit a person and the person got shocked and destroyed everything.

- Megan Groppe

"You are in pain; both physical and emotional," my heart informed me. 

- Daniel Blackmore

"OMH" texted Sue-Anne to her compatriot Ellen, "MY OWN PARENTS R DED!" It looked like the Mystery Girls had a new mystery!

- G. Paal

Tuesday. Africa. Lion o'clock.

- Jamie Harding

The battlefield stank thick with writhing "progressives."

- Neil Martin

Pika...chu, thought Pikachu.

- anonymous

Zamboni doubled - nay, TRIPLED over in happiness-demolishing agonies.

- Leon Arnott

Deep space. The silence of the void. Shh.

- Anthony Hope

As the subtle smell of baking monkeys filtered through the classroom, I wondered where the science experiment had gone wrong. 

- anonymous

Under Bob's fez was another.

- Jeff Marr

PEWPEW - Lasers! - PEWPEWPEW!

- David Poore

The thing is, you can never really tell if a person is looking out from behind their own eyes, or if the eyes are being piloted by tiny mice in swivel-chairs.

- Noah Smith

"Crime," declared the police captain, "is everywhere, crime, crime!" 

- Carl Muckenhoup

For hobos, spring was the season of love.

- Rob Lenzi

The king of ketchups was being dethroned, and I wanted an explanation.

- Dan Schmidt, quoting Leigh Belanger in Cook's Illustrated

This is the cipher key for all that follows: |||||| || |!

- P. Scott Hamilton

Pie Time!

Friends, Family, I feel it's time to embark on something exciting and new.

Yes, that's right: It's PIE TIME! A time for flavorful adventure and excitement! A time for the exploration of culinary delights and epicurean pleasures! A time for FRUIT! A time for PASTRY! But more importantly, FRUIT!

Yes, fruit, that ever-adored article of luscious lip-smacking flavor, that blessed bearer of jubilant juice-filled bliss! A tiny plant grows to an adult height, never knowing that someday its green bowers will hang with the weight of tasty, tempting tidbits of succulent sweetness. And I will eat it.

The BS girls have all been discussing a pie-and-cobbler party for our tastebuds. I was beyond ecstatic when I heard the news. I didn't even think they liked pie and cobbler! No one ever brings it to our get-togethers. So I figured maybe they're cake and cookie people, which is what I've encountered in most of my friends. And L revels in her Golden Oreos so much that I assumed she likes pie but doesn't exactly crave it. Not like I crave it, at least. A pie on a stand at Food Lion catches my eye the same way a Lamborghini would on a slow drive-by. Gorgeous.

BUT apparently they like pie and cobbler. So we're going to have a Special Night Out for the fruits we love!

I will tell you why I am most excited about this: one of my goals is to create a superb collection of fruit recipes. I get so overwhelmed by all the Apple Pie recipes out there that I honestly avoid making it simply because I don't know which one to choose. If I had massive kitchen and money at my disposal and I could find someone else to clean and a bunch of people to do the eating, I'd bake four or five different recipes for each kind of pie and then choose my favorite to only bake from then on. I really want to be the kind of woman who is known for her pie/cobbler/etc.

(sigh) Someday, pie fans, I will achieve this level of distinctive superiority. And it will be amazing. And The Boy will help me eat it all. :)

NaNoWriMo Resources

Websites

• Report Card, etc
• Snowflake Method
• Seventh Sanctum
• Pickup Lines
• Character Quirks
• Chaotic Shiny
• Haiku
• Plot Bunnies

Books

• Building Believable Characters
• Book of Matches
• Writer's Block

Words

• Throw-away Words
• Free Rice

Pretty!

• Shattered by Rain wallpaper
• DeviantArt
• Widget

NaNoWriMo Pickup Lines

I had to find a place to save these:

Wanna help me with some research for the love scenes?
Hey baby, wanna turn my pages?
Baby, you keep my interest from cover to cover...
Your laptop or mine?
Baby, if you were words on a page, you’d be fine print.
I'd like to verb your noun.
If I were a novel, I'd be dedicated to you.
Hey, baby, what's your genre?
Baby, what's your ISBN? 'Cause I'd totally love to look you up.
What is a girl like you doing in a book like this?
Wanna be my muse?
Hey baby, what's your font size?
Hey, what's a character like you doing in a plot like this?
It's not the size of the wordcount, it's the action in the scenes.
I'll be your Gary Stu if you'll be my Mary Sue..
I'll verify your word count, baby.
NaNoers do it 50,000 times.
NaNoers do it all month long.
NaNoers do it once a year.

Quote

I think a real god is not going to be so scared or angry that he tries to keep other people down…A real god doesn’t care about control. Real gods would want to teach you how to be just like them. – Xenocide by Orson Scott Card

Research Paper Blues

I've got to write a research paper. Well, I've been writing a research paper, but sometimes with all this schoolwork, my brain feels like it's overheated. I need to take moments to cool it down by doing something...unbrainly.

What unbrainly things do I do, you ask? Why, I read blogs! The best ones I've found so far are Neatorama and Miss Cellania. Fantastic collections of links that make you laugh while still educating you a bit.

However, if I want to get into an even lower gear, I watch original episodes of Star Trek. Yes, that's right. I'm working on my Spock impressions and developing a tolerance to Kirk's poses. It's great. I'm going where thousands have gone before.

Nevertheless, I cannot WAIT until my paper is done. It will be finished, and I will print it out, and staple it together, and take all my books back to whence they came, and everything will calm down. It will be great. Just wait.

The Best Villains in Bookdom

"What," asked Mr. Croup, "do you want?"
"What," asked the marquis de Carabas, a little more rhetorically, "does anyone want?"
"Dead things," suggested Mr. Vandemar. "Extra teeth."


"Still," said Mr. Croup chirpily. "Can't make an omelette without killing a few people."


-Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman

Cactus or Kelp?

Sometimes I worry - all the time, I worry - that I'm too much.

It makes me sad how I always need more love. I never feel loved enough. And it's not that people don't love me. They do, and they tell me that all the time. It's just that it's never enough. I can't ever get enough of someone giving me attention, or making me feel special, or anything like that.

Sometimes I think I have enough, and then within the next minute, hour, or day, I'm hungering for attention again. You would think that I would be able to handle going without attention for at least a few days. It drives me crazy.

For example: I went out with a bunch of girls last night to a fantastic classical concert. We dressed up. We had milkshakes. We rode the Light Rail. It was so much fun. I spent at least 6 hours with a group of girls that all genuinely liked me. And yet today I find myself wishing there were someone else in my apartment beside me who would want to talk to me. Why can't my love/attention quota be filled longer?

You would think that I'd at least be able to make it one day without feeling down. I mean, my goodness. Am I that needy, that I can't go a whole day without wanting someone else around? Will I ever have enough love? I feel like a sponge, soaking it all up, but then something like evaporation occurs, and I need more. Like a plant taking in water. You can't ever finally have enough water. But goodness, shouldn't I be more like a cactus than kelp?

I remember the analogy that really grabbed me a few years ago - Carla described wounding words as things that stabbed someone, filling them with holes so that even when you poured love in, it spilled right out and they could never feel love. You had to fix the holes first. Well, I thought I fixed the holes! God fixed them. Are there more that I don't know about? Or is this just a God-made thing - are all people like this? Or is it just a Michaela thing? Am I designed this way - to be kelp, needing a love-surrounded environment to survive, while others can hoard up their love and survive like cacti in the desert? It's fine with me, if I'm meant to be like this. I'd just like to know if there's something I need to be trying to fix or not.

Trusting God

Martin Luther once said that every Christian problem resolves itself into this simple question: "Can I or can I not trust God?"

I am not completely sure that this is true, but I've certainly found that it is the core question of my life as well as my walk with God.

At this exact moment, I'm also listening to my Theology 501 lecture and taking notes. My professor just said, "A man once told me, 'If you don't learn to trust God when you are young, you will never trust Him when you're older.' "

I'm struck by that statement. Is it true?
I don't want to find out.

So how are we supposed to learn to trust God?
I can tell you the patented Michaela Approach TM. I want Him to prove Himself faithful to me continually without me ever having to take a step outside my comfortable boundaries. Instead, like Beth Moore says in her Breaking Free study, trust in God is developed by first stepping out, throwing it all on the line, and seeing God come through in His power. We learn that He is trustworthy by letting go and taking ourselves to the limits of our weaknesses and then discovering that He has caught us.

Comfortable boundaries. People talk a lot about boundaries and comfort zones in church. Usually those words are followed along with "public testimony" and "mission trips" and "the bathroom was just a hole in the ground." Oh, for the life of a missionary. No, I know that the life of missionary would be extremely hard. I've gone on enough trips and lived that life enough times to know that it would stretch me in dimensions I didn't know existed. But I know I could do it. I can live with no hairbrush and no toilet paper. I can speak in front of 500 people who care or 10 people who don't. I don't specifically enjoy it, but I could do it.

No, stepping outside my comfort zones involves something entirely different for me at this point in my life. I shudder to think about it. For me, throwing myself off the cliffs (of Insanity!!) involves things like:

• paying bills
• paying a tithe
• calling people and asking if they'll do stuff with me in hopes they'll be my friends
• going to new churches and sitting alone during the service
• working
• sending my resume in to places where I don't know what they'll think
• scheduling interviews
• buying things I need
• living alone

Getting up every day in this apartment is stepping out of my comfort zone. Lots of times I'm not really sure if I'll make it. But I've begun to see that I'm not trusting God. Actually, I haven't even been struggling with trusting God. I've not even considered Him as an option. (Friends, always consider God as at least an option.) So I've read my books and buried myself in my schoolwork (good old reliable schoolwork. I love it because it's so wonderfully predictable.) and stayed inside and tried to escape from this life that I'm afraid of living.

But now I think I'm learning to see that trusting God is not only an option, it is The Option.

List of Me

I wrote this list probably two years ago. Some of these are still true. Thanks to God, some of them are not.

1. I refuse to answer questions that are too easy - they're beneath me.
2. I often use the bathroom as a place to hide during social gatherings.
3. I can't stand insensitive people.
4. There are some people that I can't stand making eye contact with. I don't know why.
5. Unconditional love confuses me.
6. It's hard for me to even write the word "fat."
7. I get tired of people that talk a lot.
8. I make faces in the elevator and laugh because no one else knows.
9. Sometimes I go in bathrooms just to cry.
   

Infinity Within Our Reach

Sometimes we realize with greater fervor our hunger for the fantastic, the desire to travel past the stars. For centuries, men have yearned for the supernatural - the magical - for something infinitely beyond them. We fly to the planets and stars but are never satisfied with the bits of rock and gas we find; infinity lies beyond them in something unsearchable in our physical form, something incorporeal and yet more real than anything we've ever known before.

Sometimes our eyes open to see the long and narrow road we travel, the burden of the cross becomes a bit heavier, and the rough grain of the wood scratches against our shoulders. We wonder what we're signed up for in this trek - perhaps a long and monotonous journey, always searching to know a God who isn't fully knowable in this world, straining to find the clues and glimpses of Him He leaves around us, striving to become more like Him. A road less travelled, certainly.

But sometimes the veil is pulled aside, and we can see the endless search for those glimpses of glory, glimpses of what Moses saw that transfigured his face, glimpses of God's royal train filling the temple. And we can see what the world does not see - that the search is the joy, that God is the infinite intangible that we search for. I have seen the glory of God in the land of the living, and that is what the world does not understand. The unknowing is the fantastic - the clues are the supernatural visible to human eyes. The long road is fraught with danger, and with toil, but that is where true heroes are forged, true discoveries are made, and true life is lived. It is a privilege to carry the cross, to die for the one who died for many.

The darkness cannot harm what holds the light within. It is not match for me, nor do I heed it. I have light within that yields to no darkness.

Change: Not Just for Pockets

Lately I've felt I needed a new blog. Fresh space to fill with words, unencumbered by old expectations or styles or precedents. It's a good thing, change. (That I can write that honestly and without flinching is an indication of how much I've actually changed.) Change lets you go down paths you've never traveled before. It lets you be someone you never expected yourself to be. It releases you from stagnant ways of life you're mired into and lets you go, be, do - all those two-letter verbs just sit on the other side of change.

This is not my change. Just a representation of it. We'll see how long it lasts until the next big move.